Thursday, 20 August 2015

The funeral has finally taken place

So, the funeral has taken place. It was a lovely service, simple and traditional, and a lot of people commented on how moving it was. I think Tom would have been happy with what we did. This is the order of service design we chose for him, as a tribute to him being a train driver for over 40 years, a job which he thoroughly loved.
Amy read the poem beautifully. Tom would have been so proud of her. And for a bit of moral support Thomas went up and stood with her which was sweet. The flowers were all lovely and after the funeral they were placed in the memorial chapel with the exception of these 3 red roses, (one from each of the grandchildren), which I brought home to press.
The Vicar who took the service is the Vicar of the church we used to go to and she took me to one side and asked me if I was looking for a job. A funeral home in Middleton had asked her if she knew anybody who would be suitable to do a bit of admin and had the right manner for dealing with bereaved families. Apparently, she immediately thought of me! As touched as I am and as happy as I'd be doing the admin bit, I'm not sure I'd be up to dealing with bereaved families on a daily basis. It doesn't take much to set me off crying myself these days.  

I came home from the do afterwards with Amy and Thomas at about 2.30pm. To inject a bit of normality into the day I'd promised Thomas I would take him and his friend to the cinema to see Pixels, which was actually really enjoyable. 

Mark said he'd be home in an hour but obviously decided to give Tom a good send off as he didn't get in til 10pm! His saving grace was he brought chippy home with him. 

And now, we are getting ready for our week away. When we return we'll get the kids back to school and the job of house clearing will begin. At the moment it seems a mammoth task but I'm sure if we do a couple of hours a day it won't take too long.



  1. aw, I'm glad he had a good send off. Sounds like it all went well.

    As for the admin job, well, I'm with you, dealing with upset families would be too hard for me. But I shall tell you this. My neighbour became a celebrant at the end of last year, part of her job is to go out and meet the families in the evening, find out about the deceased and discuss what they want for the funeral. She enjoys her job. Not in a macabre way, but because she feels she is helping them in a time of sadness. It's not for everyone, but I see what she means. It could well be the same for you, having just been through it all yourself, you can understand completely how people feel and how frustrating it can be to sort out a funeral. Just a thought.

    Pixels. Is that a kids film? I thought it was for older people, Violet asked me if it was a film for her to go and see but I said I didn't think so. Have I got it wrong?

    Glad you have a week away to look forward to now. xx

  2. Pixels is a 12A which means I had to accompany the boys. It's about the old arcade games like Pac-man, Donkey Kong, Star Wars etc that 'attack' earth. The boys loved it, lots of graphics, lots of things being blown up and Adam Sandler was in it and he always makes me laugh. There was nothing in it overly unsuitable for them although without being sexist I'd say it was more boy based.

    I've not completely ruled out the job but I think I've got used to being able to do what I want when I want during the week and I'm not sure I really want to be tied down to work again. It was a lovely compliment though for her to think of me.

    Plenty of washing and drying was done today. Tomorrow it's ironing and packing. Ugh!.xx

  3. Sometimes we say yes and it leads to other things.... what are the hours of this job? And a yes needn't be permanent, need it?

    I'm glad the funeral went well. It's a relief when that hurdle is over.

    1. It's definitely a relief that it's all over. I've thought about the job on holiday but decided against it. Must be the right decision because I felt relieved I'd decided not to progress it. xx

  4. I know what you mean about being used to doing what you want (which sometimes might be nothing at all) whenever you want rather than working to a schedule and other people's expectations. Of course, that doesn't mean ruling out a return to work forever (though if you're my age it usually does!) and maybe it'll be completely the right step for you at some point in the future.

    Good to hear the funeral went well. I did the same thing with a rose from each of my parents' and brother's funeral flowers.

    1. The roses just seemed appropriate somehow.

      I've decided not to 'go back to work'. I've become very used to doing what I want when I want and in all honesty I don't need the stress or pressure of working. Even if it was just 2 hours every morning, by the time I'd dropped Thomas off, gone to work then got home again, pretty much the whole morning would be gone. And after the past year being taken up with Tom and Joan I don't want anybody else claiming my time at the moment. I feel good about the decision so it must be the right one. xx

  5. It sounds just perfect xx the house clearing will be difficult and equally poignant and wonderful probably. Have a lovely time on your hols. I'm up making the most of the free wifi as the monsoon woke me!!

  6. Hi Rachel. It was just how we wanted it and after waiting so long I'm glad it was :) The house clearing will be everything you've said. Some things will be very easy to let go off, others not so much. But we'll get there eventually. xx

  7. so glad it went well after such a long wait x

  8. Thanks Tess. It's a relief it's finally over that's for sure. I can only hope we never have to wait as long again between a death and a funeral. xx